Everyone has fantasies , some of which are definitely worth turning into a reality. But there are others that, when you do try them out IRL, will make you wish you'd kept them confined to your head. Even the sexiest-seeming things can turn disastrous in a second. Let's chat about a few, and tell me below: Have any of these happened to you?
1. Shower sex: I so get the appeal. Really, I do. What could be hotter than rubbing up against the sudsy object of your affection? The issue is in the execution. First, you might get shampoo in your eyes. Then, all the extra water could actually dry out your nether regions when it matters most. And lastly, hello, there's the danger aspect! What if you slip, crack your head, and get a concussion? What if he slides, takes you down with him, and ends up with a bent member? To keep your shower sex from inspiring an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER , your best bet is to put down one of those stabilizing bath mats and, just for good measure, avoid the super-slick products.
2. Public sex: So, you decided to experiment withgetting it on outside the walls of your house . I'd pat you on the back if I could, but I'd also sternly take you by the shoulders, look you in the eye, and warn you not to get caught. Nothing will kill the sexiness like a hefty fine or pair of handcuffs placed on your wrists by a cop instead of your partner.
3. Adding a vibrator. Pretty much every woman should have at least one vibrator. If I could, I would pull an Oprah and shower people with them: " You get a vibrator! And you get a vibrator!" I'm a fan of any woman taking control of her pleasure and figuring out what will bring about the best orgasm possible. The only buzzkill is that sometimes guys feel insecure when you try to use one during sex. It's understandable if he needs some reassurance that you're not trying to subtly tell him he sucks in bed, but it's not cool if he feels so put-out that he refuses to embrace the good vibes.
4. Dirty talk. The entire point of dirty talk is to get both of you so excited that you just have to have each other. Dirty talk fails might make you want to go buy a chastity belt instead.
5. Crazy table sex. If the table is already empty, then go for it and pray it was sturdily made. But what are tables for if not holding things? There's always that movie scene when two passionate lovers sweep off a table's contents, sending cookware or paperweights clattering to the ground. I can admit it sounds super sexy in theory. Still, I'm not even type-A and I'd have to tamp down some annoyance about the mess.