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EDMOND ARREY (E.L.D. CORNERSTONE)

The Definition of Marriage

I love marriage. It is the single most important achievement in human life. For me marriage has been a place of unique sacrifice, and a place in which the unexpressed definition of true friendship dwells. I had not known a greater happiness in friendship in my life, as I found in a marriage with the woman I chose to be my wife. In marriage I came to understand the vitality of friendship, commitment, and fortitude. So vital, that in marriage, a cardinal principle or requirement must be that a couple be prepared to repeatedly fall in love over and over again, but with the same person. In marriage, you cannot keep the manners that distinguish you to the public as an individual. In marriage there is no true ill or a true malice toward the other party. You can never become so critical of your spouse so as to be convinced that your criticism is intent on achieving a change rather than but a solution. Real criticism is the first instance of a failed marriage. A concerned criticism is the only window. It is as critical as it allows the partners to cherish the old self that the parties brought into the union. Marriage guarantees to a couple the richness of agelessness without the fear of ridiculing ones real condition. In fact, it is a luxury to be well married.

Marriage has several key ingredients but there are none more important than the following three. First, it is important to assess whether you are prepared to share every aspect of your life with another person indefinitely before marriage. This assessment includes knowing if you will be able to live with them, and never want to live without them. Especially the latter, for it is the cornerstone of all successful marriages. Then you must prepare to tell certain truths about the person behind your defense mechanisms no matter how dangerous they are when these truths are revealed. It is the purest first instance of trust and commitment in the world.

Second, you must be prepared to be a loyal friend. Friendship between spouses, provided that they are committed to the institution of marriage is priceless. Friendship in marriage is the single most rewarding friendship there is in the world. Married couples must strive to learn early in the marriage that their differences in marriage are only the training ground from which they will go out to face the differences they have as individuals with the greater world. Fighting in a marriage should only perfect a couples ability to love one another profoundly, forge an everlasting alliance, and should help them prepare themselves to protect the greatest the achievement that a good life grants you; family. In a marriage, good differences between spouses will be void of subjectivity and dishonesty. They will never emphasize viciousness and cruelty. These good differences between you two in a marriage will provide for construction in your lives, and it will assure a mutual friendship that respects equality as a cardinal feature to the partnership.

Third, marriage is a full time job. It is no untrue reality that being honest every moment, but one moment at a time is a tasking objective. It is without question that remembering to show love to your partner always is a constant employment. It is no unjust weariness to fear to honor one person all the time even when they annoy you so intimately and personally all at once. It is a great job to show respect when you have lost your willingness to do so. Yet the job of maintaining a great marriage is the longest standing most rewarding discipline in all modern societies. Social culture or popular culture might provide an escape to commitment in a marriage, but all married couples must stay true to the one job one takes with an oath before God and the courts; marriage, the union of two people. The reward is bountiful. In the job of marriage, love is critical and love is something that must be kept alive. It is a job to love a life or another, and even harder to keep one from faltering because of the ego that brandishes us all as individuals. My counsel in this employment of marriage is for couples to learn how to fail in it. Where you are wrong you should admit it, and where you are right, you should let it prevail on its own.

The rewards of marriage are plentiful but none stand more important in the existence of a good life lived as these. First is companionship. I have come to realize that there a fewer teams more admirable than that of two people in a marriage, who understand each other, who agree about key aspects of life, and who have managed to guarantee house; hence family and offspring to the future of the world. It is delightful to see the expression of combined experience in one intent decision, which in my incident can only be achieved through time and a united commitment to hard work for one another. It is the most pleasing occurrence to see a successful married couple amaze their enemies and drag enchantment from their friends. The reward is essentially social grace amongst once society and an indisputable respect from ones community.

The second reward is an irreplaceable happiness in you and your spouse with life. In marriage our self-worth could forge differences that deprive us from seeing the true happiness with life that naturally lies within us. Humans have always been born with the tools that guarantee true happy happiness. Many people believe that the sensual pleasures of life suffice to guarantee happiness in all of life. What is untold is that sensual pleasures burn quickly and only last for the moment. The beauty of marriage’s happiness can be seen in all of life instead. It can be seen in the stability of successful nations, in the continuity of art education and the natural sciences, in the evolution of culture, and in the modernization of advanced societies. Because of marriage, constitutions have been forged that have gone on to guarantee the survival of ethnic and diverse peoples across the globe through family and law. This truth alone testifies to, and satisfies the key principle of Genesis. These two rewards are certain in marriage and are most essential in a human; for a life to have been well lived.

I propose that marriage be held as the highest institution in our societal structures. It is from whence a leader can understand the true worth of a good friendship amongst peoples. It is from where a son can understand the value of his forbears and know the past from which to build a hope for the new worlds ahead. It is from marriage that a daughter can find the balance of true equality in her life outside the demand of the norms or the culture of her governors. When we are happily married, we learn to keep together the things that are dear to mankind and that hold the principles of unity and sacrifice dearest, which are essential in the evolution of a culture. Hence we publish a system through marriage that preserves our kind and our own in this treacherous spectrum of nature. When we are happily married, we device a method to enjoy the pleasures of life today, yet with the foresight to preserve some pleasures for the moment when the consequence of the future is at hand. It is the single institution in which the value of mutual participation is most elaborately taught.

EDMOND A. ARREY©

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